


Secrets unfolded

by BizzlRoklyptc



Series: Secrets Unfolded [1]
Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Escort Service, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-02-29 03:05:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18769918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BizzlRoklyptc/pseuds/BizzlRoklyptc
Summary: A woman who lives a secret life. Dealing with an addiction. When she meets her sponsor buddy friends, she realizes one is her "mister"





	1. Chapter 1

As the night started to fade, my eyes were still swollen. The air still smelled of blood. The loud sound of glass shattering, women screaming filled my ears. I couldn’t speak. I could barely move. I lay still on the cold pavement , shivering as the snow covered my body. Thinking back to 2 years ago when this happened before.I began to tear up, I felt my body become numb, this was the first step of hyperthermia. The snow covered my body fully this time. I was unable to move my fingers and toes. The breathing started to slow up. The blood in my veins began to clog. Nothing hurt anymore. Nothing seemed to be hostile. I felt free. As soon as my eyes started to close, there was a light shining in my eye sight. As my eyes began to close, one last breath escaped my lungs. Silence. 

**2 years earlier**

“Hi, my name is Elena, and I am an alcoholic….” The words echoed through the halls of the First Holy Baptist Church. I stared at my hands in my lap legs shaking, sweating profusely. I had been going through withdrawls for 24 hours. My stomach hurt as if I hadn’t eaten in days. A man sitting next to me took the next turn. “Hi, my name is AJ, and I am an alcoholic as well… I am here sitting 90 days sober.. I wanted to continue to come here to show my support of those in need and also in the same shoes as me…”

I didn’t want to take a turn in the personals today. I hadn’t been here that long. Today marked a week of attending this AA meeting. Everyone’s story was boring, except his. His voice stood out to me. I looked up to watch him speak. He had a raspy calming voice. He seemed to be my age, he had dark facial hair, and wore a baseball cap backwards. As AJ spoke, the bell for the lunch session broke his conversation. Thank the heavens. I could break free before someone asked me about anything related to this class. I didn’t like story time and right before lunch the advisors try to get me to speak.I didn’t want to, this was all new. 

As picked myself up from the chair, I began to dash for the front door. Nothing was going to stop me. Except someone walking behind me. I thought I had everything on me. Nope. I was missing my bag. “Shit.” I said under my breathe. “HEY! Elena, wait up!” I stopped in my tracks but never turned around. “You forgot your bag, I am sure you are going to need this to wherever you are going.” I turned my body around to the voice that I had heard earlier. “Thanks, AJ right??” I was only being polite. I didn’t care as long as I got my bag back. I was the one who left it after all.

I needed to go to work. I was a dancer at a strip club. I have been there since I was 18. I was the only one who didn’t take off their clothes. I danced. Maybe take off a top here and there. I never slept with clients. I never went home with clients. As far as the clients at the club knew, I worked there and that was it. I was the youngest there. This job was my outlet. I didn't do any hard core things. Dancing was my passion. Just have a lot of demons. 

As AJ spoke, I tried to keep up with the time. 

“Yea, yea, hey listen, I know this AA meeting is new to you, you seem a little afraid.” I held my backpack close to me as if it could be taken away again. “Yea? Well I am not fond of telling complete strangers why I drink…” I breathed a little laugh and thought in my head “... and why I want to die…” I would never say it out loud. 

AJ offered me a smile. “I normally go eat with a few buddies of mine, would you like to join us?? It is the least I could do. I did take up your personal time.” He was meaning the time to talk in our group. Thing is, I didn’t care if he took it all. I was never going to share my thoughts on my addiction. At least not now. I was hungry actually. I had a shift at the club tonight so I guess one meal wouldn’t hurt.

“Sure, I guess I could eat.” AJ smiled at me. He offered to hold my bag but I refused. I just hoisted it onto my back and followed him to the diner that was next door to the church. Once inside the diner, AJ introduced me to his friends. “Hey fellas, this is Elena, Elena, this is Brian, Nick and Kevin.” 

The one he called kevin stare at me. And i stared back. I knew him. “Where is Howie?” The one he called Nick stood up to offer a hand, I didn’t shake it. I played it off like I was a germaphobe. “Sorry, getting over a cold…” I wasn’t. I just didn’t want him to see my scars. 

The guy he introduced as Brian, pulled out a chair for me. “You look like you could use a seat.” He smiled at me. I tried to quickly hid my reaction. He made me blush and I had no idea why. AJ handed me a menu. “If you like burgers they have the best bacon cheese burger, and the chocolate shakes are amazing.” AJ squealed in a sing song voice. I didn’t feel like eating all the food. 

“Well, do you mind if I share with someone?? I am not really that hungry..” I said putting the menu back on the table. 

“You can share with me. I am not supposed to eat much today, so we can share a plate of fries and a shake. Deal?” Brian piped up. Just like that. He offered to share food with someone he didn’t even know. I was beside myself. “Sure, I mean if you want to.” I had to eat. I wasn’t feeling too good and if I was to keep up my story, I needed to stay in plain sight. 

As we talked Kevin still peered at me. Not obsessed like but he knew he noticed me. Kevin and I made eye contact for quite a while. I knew he needed to talk. I had to excuse myself from the group. Kevin did the same. 

Once out of sight, we were able to talk. 

“does your wife know you're here???” I asked staring at kevin. He stepped closer to me. “she doesn't need to know. How do you know AJ.” Kevin's arm brushed against mine. Sending my skin in shivers. Our eyes locked again. My short frame was pushed against the hallway of this diner. Nobody saw us. “don't do this here. You could get on..i trouble like last time. Let me go.” 

Kevin stepped back. “you cant tell anybody you know me. You know what will happen if it gets out and i'm sleeping with you.” I nodded. “right. Anything else?” as I tried to walk off kevin came behind me, gripping the back of my neck, squeezing as hard as he could. “AJ may not know who you are. but I do. Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut.” he then let me go then patted me on the ass.

I looked at him as he left. Our relationship was a weird one. He liked to be in control. He also liked when I would strip for other men. He was weird like that. His wife and I use to dance together. We would share clients. I knew Kevin first. But he fell in love with her. His money bought the both of us, but I couldn't be in a threesome. Hence my situation now.

 

An hour goes by and the fellas joked with one another as If I wasn't in the room. The included me into their jokes and laughed like they hadn't heard of the nasty jokes each told. “so elena, where are you from?” AJ asked me. I twirled the spoon around in my hand. I danced around the question. “philly… well… I was born in Philly. I moved to Mississippi at the age of 5… then 2 years later I moved to Kentucky.” after my comment, Brian's eyes lit up. “Kentucky??? What part?” Kevin looked at me again with seductive eyes. Memories of us having sex on his farm. me strapped to a saddle made me uneasy. I didn't like to be restrained. Now him on the other hand. He was into all kinds of things..

I heard the rest of the group groan and moan. “Mother mary and Joseph. You are from the sticks too????” AJ giggled. Nick laughed. “Do you drink moonshine and ride horses too??? Horseback riding is pretty fun.” kevin laughed. “ I like a girl who can ride.” Brian nudged him and laughed. you're something else kev.”

“Richmond. I lived with my grandmother. Until she passed away which brought me here to LA….” The group became quiet.

“I'm sorry Elena.” Brian said quietly. The way he looked at me showed me that he cared. I somehow felt his gratitude. 

“Thank you…” 

The atmosphere became very relaxed. AJ began to yawn. That was a cue to the group that it was time to go.

”alrighty fellas. I think it's time for us to go back.” 

Us? I looked at him. “oh AJ I'm not an inpatient…” AJ smiled at me. “ I know hon, but I am.. I have a curfew.. I was going to walk you home? I noticed you walk home every day from the meeting.” I hadn't noticed the weather started to change. The windows were covered in water. The wind blew fiercely. 

“I guess I could use a ride home..” I was with them this long. I didn't feel a threat with them at all. I felt safe.. for the first time in a long time. 

**Later that night***

After dropping AJ off, the fellas seemed a little sad. I wanted to know why. I decided to cheer them up. 

“ya know. In our meeting he said he was 90 days sober. They like that sort of thing.” I didn't sound too sure. 

Kevin smiled a little bit. The rest didn't. “Yea every day does count for sure. So Elena, do you have a place you stay at now??” kevin was trying to make small talk. He was trying to get me to tell on myself. 

I froze. We were in Kevin's jeep. I sat in the back seat avoiding eye contact. “well. After the meetings, I normally go to work.” he knew that. That's where he would get me. And take me to a hotel. I'd stay there until his wife would get suspicious and he would change hotels for me. 

“are you a waitress?” Kevin asked. “I mean that's a job you can do all hours of the night.” he continues to make these slick remarks. I didnt deny him. “yea.” 

“Are you going tonight? What about going to sleep, it's about to be 10 o’ clock, what time do you go in?” Brian asked. Another question I needed to avoid. 

But they have been nice to me so I had to tell him something. “I normally 2am… my house is being dumped for bugs so I normally go to work and sleep in the office.”

I watched Brian and Kevin exchange looks in the car. Nick turned his head to the backseat. “hey Brian since I'm going back home to visit aaron, she can stay in my room tonight. It's gotta be uncomfortable to sleep in an home office.” 

Brian smile at his friend then at me. “great idea nicky.” I shook my head. “No, I couldn't impose like that, really, I have a mattress at work and anything.” I lied again. 

If it was up Kevin he'd plow me right here while his friends watched. It was something about an audience that made him hard as a rock.

“yea elena it's fine really.” Brian smiled at me again. His smile caught me off guard every time. “you sure? I'm sure you don't need an extra mouth to feed..” Brian laughed. “no worries, Nick's mouth is like 2 extra so that wont be an issue to lose 1.” Brian said jokingly at his friend. Nick laughed at flashes his middle finger to Brian. Brian didn't seemed bothered by it. 

 

Kevin dropped Nick, Brian and I off at this apartment complex. It was a very spacious community. Kevin lived in the other building across the yard. 

The two boys got out before me. “i'll be there in a second I need to get my bags.” Brian tried to wait but nick yelled for him to open the door. Kevin and I were alone. “Look, my cousin thinks you're cute. Dont fuck him on the first night.” i stared. “Brian's your cousin?? Why would you think I'd sleep with him?” 

“you slept with me the first night.” he voiced.  
“that's because we had an agreement which you broke when YOU got married.. you are no longer my client.”

Kevin looked at me and bit his lip a little. “Am I the only one you slept with??”

“yes.” 

“keep it that way. Goodnight Elena.”

And with that he drove off.  
I made my way up the steps to where Brian and Nick were.

“If nick is staying here where am I supposed to sleep?” since that was the original plan. 

Brian unlocked the door. 

“nick is sleeping on the couch since he has to get up at 6. To catch a flight. It's alright.” Brian and Nick both agreed this was not going to put them in a bad spot. It was only for one night.


	2. First night in

Once inside Nick showed me around. 

“Bathroom to the left, my room is on the right and Brian sleeps on the opposite end. You can help yourself to any of my stuff in the kitchen if you'd like. Bath stuff is all in the bathroom closet. If you need any clothes to sleep in, I have a bunch of sweats and jerseys. Towels too.” nick just offered his entire living space to me. I sat my bag on the bed next to me. “what's in there?? You've been keeping it close.” 

“clothes.” 

Another lie. It was clothes, but not the kind to wear.

Nick handed me a pillow. “this is the softest pillow in the house. I like to think it helps for a stressful day.” i took the pillow and laid it on the bed. 

“thank you.”

Nick started to grab his clothes that were packed. “if you need anything I'm in the living room and Brian is down the hall.”

And with that he left. I was by myself. 

I decided to take a shower. The hot water on my skin could do me some good. I grabbed my backpack and headed down to the bathroom. It was quiet. Too quiet on account of the boys were pretty talkative in the few hours I had known them. 

As I came upon the bathroom door I heard talking. 

“I cant come tonight. I have a friend staying over and I want to make sure she doesn't feel alone..yes I understand. I know.. nobody is worth my sobriety. I get it. Thank you..love you too.” 

I tried to step out of sight when the door opened. It was too late. Brian noticed me standing in the door way. “sorry..I couldnt help but overhear…”

“how much did you hear?” he asked. 

“enough to know you suffer from being sober too….how long?” I asked sitting my bag down. 

“6 years...its a struggle every day..but I'm sure you knew that.” I actually didn't. I was new to it. 

I hadn't noticed that Brian was in a full on bathrobe. He had been in the shower prior. I looked away. “sorry. I guess I interrupted your shower time..” Brian smiled and made way for me to enter the bathroom. 

“its ok. I had to call a friend. So. Where are you headed after here??” Brian began grabbing the razor to shave his face. I let the bath water run the hottest it could. The steam started to fill up the bathroom mirrors. Brian continued to shave.  
“I have no idea” I said finally. He didn't really need to know where I was going. My guess he was trying to make up conversation 

After the tub was full of water. I started to take off my shoes. Brian was just finishing up. “if you want I can turn the heat up so you're not freezing. It's supposed to storm soon.” I dropped my jean's bearing nothing but my tatted up legs and thighs covered by a bikini panties. 

I began to take my shirt off. Exposing a black lace bra. I heard Brian cough. “um..I could have left ya know.”

I hadnt realized he was still in the room. It didn't bother me. My profession didnt allow myself to hide my body. As I got into the tub Brian stopped me.  
“you have a lot of tattoos… what's the occasion?”   
I turned to brian before sitting in the tub. “ I'm a stripper the fellas need to have something to look at while I dance.”

Brian laughed. “no seriously.” 

I smiled without saying a word. I reached behind and untied my bra. My breasts were now free. “Do I make you nervous Brian?” It was so quiet I could almost hear his heart beat. 

“no. Not at all elena. Do you need something?” I smiled and prepared myself to sit in the tub. “not at the moment.” and with that Brian left me in the bathroom alone.

I washed myself pretty good. I smelled of burgers and fries..I hated it. I was ready to sleep in a bed for once instead of a cot. I damm near told on myself. Brian thought I was kidding about being a stripper. I was. I can't mix business with my personal life. If anything, he seemed interested to know if I really was a dancer. 

As the tub water began to get cold. I had to get out. I smelled of DOVE body wash and had freshly shaved everything. I hated hair on my legs…. Bikini area.

I climbed out of the tub I noticed I didn't have a towel. When I spotted the clock, I had been in the tub for an hour..there was no way he was awake.

I needed that towel. I had to get one. Nick's towels were down the hall and if I could run to the room, it wouldnt matter..I could shut the door. I put on clean undergarments and sprayed some perfume on me.. figured I'd go get some hours of sleep in peacefully after getting to the bedroom.

I grabbed my bag and bolted for the room. Not knowing Brian's door was open. He heard me walking fast in the hall and called for me. 

“hey elena did you make it out-.” Brian frozen in front of me. If the hallway light was on I bet he would be blushing. I apologized. 

“uh, sorry about that. I didn't grab a towel like I had thought.”

Brian stared at me in a trance as if he hadn't seen a woman bear in his house before or at least a long time.  
“You need a towel huh. Here.” Brian made his way to the closet and grabbed a few for me. “just in case nicky didnt do laundry. Anything you need my room is right here.” 

Sweet gesture. I took the towels and went back to the room that was given to me. 

Once in the room. I plugged up my cell phone and started to return messages. Since I had been on my break. Work missed me. I was the only dancer that never slept with any clients. I was also one that never got naked fully. Except for breast exposed of course. 

One phone call I had to return didnt go as I had hoped. 

“Look E. You need to get back here soon. Your guys miss you and I worry about you sleeping at the office. You need a safe place to go before you end up on the street….” my boss sighed into the phone. I was one of her more experienced workers. But never did any street work. She always wanted me to switch to dates, more so like an escort… it was safer she said. No sex..just dating and I could stay dressed. 

“Fine. I'll do one date if you think itll get me a place..when is it?”  
“tomorrow. And dress nice. He likes his woman showing everything.. he's also fond of the sauce… just a fair warning…” 

I was still not drinking so I had to make sure I didnt pick up the bottle. 

I wrote in my book I had a date tomorrow for 8pm. I would meet the guy at the club first. It was a 2k gig..half would go to the club. 

The rest to me.


	3. what our scars hide

I woke up to sounds of pots and pans rattling. My body wouldnt allow me to really wake up. I was exhausted. Either that or sleeping in a bed actually allowed me to rest. I sat up in bed and started to stretch. Mid stretch there was a knock on my door.

“come in”

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes until I could see clearly. The smell of pancakes and bacon filled the room. 

“Good morning Elena, I didn't know what you liked so I made a little bit of everything.” It was AJ greeting me with breakfast in bed. 

“AJ what are you.doing here???”  
AJ made his way to the bed and sat down. “well Brian went to run some errands and he wanted to make sure you were fed properly.”

I stared at the plate in awe. Everything looked so good.

“did you make this??” I asked. AJ squealed with pride. “yes ma'am..eat up..we have a meeting in an hour 30.” I flopped back down. “cant i have a project tonight. Sponsor knows i work and do meetings separately.”

Not meaning to start conversation, AJ decided to dig deeper. 

“so what is it you do??” I couldn't really tell him I worked as a stripper. But AJ also didnt seem the type to keep secrets. “ office assistant. I set up dates for special occasions”

As i ate the food, AJ grew quiet.

“How's the temptation.” he asked. Only being sincere. I knew what he was talking about. 

“its there. But I hadnt drank in 2 days….”

AJ reached for my arm and noticed the faded scars. He looked at me with soft eyes. “your tattoos dont hide everything….”

I pulled my arm back. “yes they can. You better not tell anybody.” aj shrugged. “i'll only intervene when you make it my business. eat up woman we gotta go.”

AJ then left me alone to get dressed and eat. I ignored the scars on my arms for now.


	4. 3rd degree

I was dressed and full by the time I got downstairs. AJ was downstairs of the apartment watching tv. After he saw my scars he didn't say anything to me for at least an hour..it was am unbearable silence. 

“so are we going to sit here and act like you didn't see anything.” I asked. AJ turned the tv down and turned to me. He took his sunglasses off. this was a sign he wanted to be sincere. 

“how old are you?”  
“same as you. I'm not a child.”  
“exactly. What hardship are you going through that you have to cut yourself elena. You're a beautiful woman why?”

I laughed.   
“first of all McLean. They arent from me. You think I'd be stupid and try to hurt myself??” 

AJ stared in disbelief. As if he heard some bad news or something. “who in the fuck would do that to you??? You have a crazy boyfriend??” when he said that, the door opened and Brian peered. “can I get some help?? I bought some food.” 

AJ was about to shout the news he heard but I smacked his back. Stopping him mid sentence. “you cant tell anybody. You are the only one that knows! I'll explain later..not in front of Brian. He doesnt seem to the recipient for drama so please don't blow this for me. I need a play to stay for a few days….please AJ. I'll tell you. Just not him.”

AJ took in a big inhale..he groaned afterward. 

“Shit! Fine...fine…. But dont let me.catch any one putting hands on your or i'll beat the brakes off them.”  
I rolled my eyes. “yes. Got it.” 

 

Truth was it wasnt anybody that dangerous. Kevin and I have a weird relationship. We use things to entice the sex..candles. wax. Belts. Cigarettes…  
Knives. It's a weird weird thing.. but. If I wanted to be well off. I had to do everything he said. 

The tattoos on my legs and thighs were a bonus. He told me everything about me was a bonus. His wife was a plain Jane. I was a ethnic woman with bright brown eyes and hair. Short frame. small waist. Big behind. Kevin had a thing for asses and thighs. So it was hard to get away..

Either that, or I liked how tall he was and how big his hands were. Everything about him was just right..but I didnt love him. At one point I thought I did. The feeling was just lust.. which makes the sex just as good. Bad..but good. 

Later on after speaking to AJ I got a call on my phone It was kevin. 

”cancel your date..meet me at the diner. At 730. Dont tell AJ or Brian. You'll be fully taken care of.”

I stared at my phone. Should I go? I needed the money. What if kevin tells the boys this is what I do? I didn't know what to do. 

I wanted to tell AJ all of what it is I do..I needed to be able to trust someone. While Brian was putting food away. AJ came to get the full story. 

“so..who did this to you?” AJ got to the point.  
“ my mister. Or whatever you wanna call him. He and I have a strange relationship. We see each other on certain occasions. When he wanted to do strange things, he would get his way. And if he didn't, he would threaten to tell. Now that I know what he likes I just give him what he wants.” 

AJ laughed. “so you are a married man's mistress. That's not bad.”

“its bad when the man is married to your ex best friend. Someone who use to turn tricks with you.” 

AJs face dropped. “you're a prostitute?” I cut him off.  
“no. No..more like a escort. This man is the only man out of the club I've slept with..it just sucks he's married. I use to like him. But maybe it's time to let it go. I mean I am getting older. No STDs…”

“you're just emotionally fucked up… who's the guy so I can whoop his ass!.” .the thought of AJ trying to best kevin in a fist fight. I didn't spill the name.

“AJ, if it comes to it. I'll give you the word.”   
“yea. I dont care what you're profession is.. nobody deserves to be abused sexually or any matter. I got you girl.”

It was nice to have a friend. But AJ didn't understand..it was a kink for kevin. And sort of for me. 

Hours of trailing around the house, I decided to finally get ready for my date.

I spent enough time in the bathroom. Did my hair and oiled myself up. Sprayed Victoria Secret body spray and began putting on a laced up halter top dress. the dress sropped at my thighs showing all my tattoos. Boots came up to meet the dress. Hair worn down. I was ready. I had about 30 minutes before leaving. 

AJ was asleep on the couch. He offered to drop me off so I didn't have to walk. It was kind of him but I knew better. 

He wanted to know who my mister was. 

I made my way downstairs and bumped into Brian. ,”Damn where are you headed looking like this???” he asked. His compliment escaped him a little bit straight forward. 

“out. If you don't mind?.”  
Brian raised his hands. “not at all. Are you coming back tonight? You know you can stay as long as youd like.”

There it was. 

I smiled at him. “i'll be back around 11.” 

I didnt want Brian feel like I didn't respect his house. I did. I just needed a place to crash really. I would actually get my own place.

\----

AJ drove me to the diner. Still interrogating me. 

“is he black?”  
“no.”  
“is he white?”  
“God AJ…yes. There..you happy??”  
AJ shouted with laughter and honked the horn. “Elena has jungle fever!!”

I shook my head. “its the other way around you simple ass… besides. I will date anybody who benefits me…”

AJ didn't mind my talk. “so. How much do you make? Just to dance?” I had never been asked. “maybe 300 a night… a slow night that is. A good night with the mister is like 1k.”

“do you actually call him mister… it sounds racist as fuck….” AJ came up to a stop light and waited for the green light. 

“no. I call him daddy… the hell AJ.”  
AJ started to laugh and couldn't stop. “so. Is he your pimp or…. No??”

I glanced out the review mirror at the sunset behind us. “AJ..no. he was a guy that came into the club looking for a girl. My best friend and I fell in love with him. But he wanted us both. I walked. I don't share.”

We pulled up to the diner. AJ parked. “but you DO share him… with his wife.”

This was true..but at least I knew he was with her. His own wife doesn't even know he and I still fuck each other. “if you were dating me I didn't even let another man look at you. This is not a game.” his comment made me laugh but i felt the realness. 

“Goodnight AJ.”  
“Goodnight Elena.”


	5. Released

I met Kevin at the diner. We were alone and secluded. I sat next to him in the booth. “I have missed you.” He said scooting closer to me. I looked at him and watched as he tried to fit his hands under the table to fondle my dress. “So, 2 weeks and you can’t seem to get a grip of yourself.” 

Kevin laughed. “Taxi was late. Sorry. I can make it up to you.” His eyes looked me up and down. His hair had gotten longer. He didn’t want to cut it. He looked older but I like his hair either way. “You must be growing your hair out for your wife.” I said looking at the table. 

“I’d grow it for you but you told me no.” Kevin reached for my face. I avoided it. “I told you. I do not share. It is bad enough I am sharing you now. You know this will have to end. I don’t want to be this anymore, it’s getting old, and its not safe… you are the only person I do this with and I can’t keep telling the club I have tons of clients a month when I don’t…”

I heard a sigh leave his mouth. “If you want to be released all you have to do is say so.”  
I knew it wasn’t that easy. I wasn’t stupid. 

“Kevin, if you let me go you will try to come after me. You are a jealous individual. You may think you aren’t. You aren’t the only person that may have an interest in me.”

“Oh you mean AJ?? Yea, I am not worried about that. Look, I will let this be the last night we see each other for a while. My wife wants to try to have a baby and I kinda need to save some for her unfortunately.”

He sounded like he didn’t want kids. He wasn’t a bad dude, he just sucked at commitment. “Just so you know, don’t bring a baby into the world if they are going to be without their daddy. You don’t want your wife to have to tell the child daddy cheated with a ex friend.”

Kevin looked at me then at the door. He seemed to be looking for something. “What are you looking at?”  
“Around this time, my cousin comes here to eat a piece of pie. It’s like a routine, we should go. Look, I don’t care who you see….just stay away from people I know. I don’t want there to be any issues when we meet up again.” Kevin pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “Don’t spend it all at once kid, and you are good at what you do. Sex or not. Wish you had just said yes.”

Kevin gave me a kiss on the lips. He pulled me closer to him in the booth. Hands on the lower part of my back. As we pulled apart, he gave me his sideway grin. “One more thing, stay away from Brian.” 

Kevin left the booth without saying anything else. Whatever he and Brian had going on, Kevin really didn’t want me in it. I was staying another night. I really didn’t want to go back to the club and sleep on the cot. I called AJ to see if I could get a ride. AJ was already back at the center. So I had to call Brian. As I waited on Brian, the sensation of Kevin’s kiss still lingered on my lips. “Go away...cmon, get outta here.” I said aloud.  
“I can come back later but then you won’t be able to get inside the house.” Brian made his way to the booth. “So, did you have a good time??” I was only gone 45 minutes. 

“I mean, this is the shortest date in history… you tell me. Do you take girls out for 45 minutes and leave them at the diner??”  
“I mean if I was taking you out, we would still be out, and I would for sure take you home.” 

Brian flashed a smile. “Ready to go home?”  
I looked at the envelope. “About that… think it’s time you and I have a talk.I was raised to not shit where I lay… and you have given me a good place to lay.. So I have to be honest with you. But I think we should do it over drinks. It could take a while…”

Brian looked at me. “Aren’t you recovering? Not to sound preachy but I don’t think you should...if you want to talk that is fine. I don’t need to drink to be calm Elena. Let’s get back to the house, the weather is getting bad out.” With that, Brian led me to the car. He opened my side of the car and drove home. I listened to him talk about his grocery shopping trip. 

He was so animated. He talked with his hands and he had this thing where he wanted to make sure I was paying attention. I never turned my head away. I watched him the entire time. Why did Kevin want me to stay away from him so bad?? I mean, kevin was the jealous type. So maybe that is what he had going on. If I wanted Brian’s trust. I needed to tell him my story, and tell him what I really did for a living. If he was a forgiving as he seemed, he would listen to what I had to say.

Once Brian and I got home, the rain outside started to hit the apartment building. “Geez, we made it just in time. So hey, you said you wanted to talk. Let’s get comfy? I picked up that pie from the diner and figured you would want something to eat. Unless your date fed you?” 

He was such a sweet guy. “No, my date actually didn’t feed me.” All this sweetness was a turn on for sure. If he kept this up, I would be in his bed. But I had to be better.

“Give me a minute to get changed and I will have your plate ready.”   
“Oh, no you don’t have t-”  
“C’mon Elena, you are still a guest. It’s not an issue to make a plate for a slice of pie, get outta here girl.” 

Brian left to go to the kitchen. I went back to Nick’s room to get undressed. Sort of. My zipper was in the back of the dress and I couldn’t reach it.

“For fucks sakes….hey Brian??? Brian?! “ I shouted until he came in with a plate in hand.  
“Here I am.”  
“Im sorry, I can’t get my zipper undone.. Can you help me? I don’t want to tear the zipper.. This is a nice dress.”

Brian sat the plate down to help me. The dressed fitted me pretty tight and once the zipper was down, the dress started to fall. I clutched the dress to prevent another moment like in the bathroom. I had figured Brian was away from me when he unzipped me, but when I turned around he wasn’t. 

“Isn’t this the part where you try to hide your face from seeing me naked?” I asked.   
Brian grinned slightly. His voice was soft and almost like a whisper. “Something tells me you are use to it. What exactly is it that you do Elena?” I stood in front of him holding my dress.   
“I am a dancer. I also go on dates...for money. It’s only one person. I am kind of getting bored of it. Honestly, I made a lot of money tonight, and I was going to give it to you...for letting me stay here. I really appreciate you making me feel at home.”

Brian took my own dress out of my hands and held them. “You should be careful out there, those kind of jobs are how a lot of women get hurt.” I nodded. “Yea that is what AJ said too. You don’t mind me stayin here?” We were closer than before when I asked him to help me with my dress. 

“If you leave then I couldn’t get to know you.” He was a smooth talker. Like Kevin. This is how girls get into trouble. “You don’t want to know me Brian, I am not the girl you take home to mom, trust me. Im all messed up.”

I managed to get a laugh out. Brian reached for the side of my face. I actually jumped back. Normally kevin does this and its forceful. But with Brian, it wasn’t. Is this what Kevin was threatening. The fact that if I am treated of worth I would really stop associating with Kevin all together?? 

“You don’t know what you are getting yourself into, you should quit while you’re ahead.” I said looking up into his eyes. I needed to stop myself. Brian smiled. “Goodnight Elena.” brian reached down to hand me my dress, to cover myself up. Brian walked out the room and shut the door. I sighed in relief. I needed a cold shower. I would have let him take me right there in Nick's room. But then nick would probably be upset that I fucked his roomate in his bed.


	6. Just so you know

In the middle of the night the weather started to beat against the house. The wind made high pitch whistling sounds. Lightning flew through the house. The rain trickled onto the windows. The sound of it triggered a memory of Kevin and I in his house. His wife was out of town, doing a job. He called me and I stayed over for the weekend. 

He had just gotten back from a BDSM seminar and wanted to try it out on somebody. I declined. I didn't like the fact of being tied up or told what to do. 

Kevin made an agreement that if I felt unsafe, I could use the safe word. “Train.” 

The belt tight against my wrist as I stood on the steps. My feet were dressed in heels. Also in ankle cuffs. Kevin wore a button down shirt. Hair in a pony tail. It had been months since we had seen each other. Emotions were high. I didn't wear a gag..he wanted me to speak.

My body was wrapped in a harness. Soft belt like harness. A buckle like strap around my neck. My hair up in a high ponytail. 

“Sit down and get comfy.” i laughed. “Impossible.”  
Kevin came up to me and untied his sweatpants. Pulling them down exposing his V cut. The veins in this stomach pulsated through. 

“Did you miss me?” he whispered.   
Kevin raised my head up and leaned down to my level to kiss me. His tongue danced around my mouth..biting my lip. Sucking every time. 

I smiled when he pulled away. “looks like you missed me.”

The memory broke when the lightning and thunder clashed at the same time. 

I jumped outta bed. I hated storms. As a kid it gave me severe anxiety. I've only ever been with kevin during storms. They made him more excited. I wonder why he decided against me being with him tonight. He knew how this would mess up my damn nerves. 

He and i may not have been in love but the fact he was there during a storm like this. Hell. I just needed a body next to me. 

The storm didn't deter me from walking the halls. I heard soft snoring over all the commotion. I headed to Brian's room. Maybe i could get him to sleep next to me. Something. 

I walked into the room quietly whispering. 

“brian? Hey, wake up.”  
I made it to the bedside and sat down. Shaking him awake didn't really work the first time. 

Second time did the trick. Brian grabbed my hands in the dark to let me know he was awake. “what is it?”   
“this might be weird but. I can't sleep. You think i could maybe sleep here for a few hours? Just until you have to get up?”

Without hesitation Brian scooted over making plenty of room. “.i'm free tomorrow so i won't be getting up early.” brian handed me a pillow. His bed was way softer than Nick's. I sunk into the mattress and pillow. 

“oh man. Your bed feels awesome.”  
“thanks. You should be able to get a good night's rest here. I'm sure your body needs it. Not saying anything about your sex life, you just seem like you need some good rest.”

I curled up in the bed as Brian laid down. The room lit up. I didn't like how the storm crippled me. “So. What's the story of the story of your tattoos?” Brian asked while looking at me. I avoided his eye contact. I knew that he was peeking at me. 

“well. I got the left part of my thigh done at 17. I wanted to look like a painting.”  
“what about your wrist?” he asked. Brian traced his fingers across the inner section of my arm. He found where i had another scar. His trail stopped. “what happened there?”

I didn't want to really get into it. “well… do you want the truth or do you want what I think happened?” our bodies continued to touch. “I've been in a sexual relationship with a dominant man. But I enjoy it.”  
“Does he hurt you?”  
“No. He didn't. It was all consensual. I signed a contract between he and I and it would be broken if either of us would get hitched.”

Brian was quiet for a minute. “Are you still seeing him?”   
“yes. I don't want to. I just want to be free. Thing is I'm not stuck. Our arms were intertwined until our hands touched. “so how are you feeling now? Still scared of the storm?” my mind was literally out of it. I hadn't been thinking about the storm. He had helped me forget about it. 

I couldn't help myself. I sat up and leaned closer to him. “You don't have to do this ya know. I think you're beautiful but you don't need to be this way.”   
“you mean you you don't think of me this way. Laying on top of you “  
I stumped him. Brian wanted to sit up in a different position but I wouldn't let him.

“very. Since the first night you stayed but. I don't want to pursue you this way. Not until you're completely away from your profession. If i want you. I want you to myself. No other man touches you. Pays you. Nothing. So when I kiss you. I'm kissing a woman that wants me for me and not the hopes of getting my money. You think I didnt want to bend you over my bathroom sink and give you the ride of your life. But you're wrong. You want to know something about me, I love sex and with the right one it's explosive. So you cant start something you won't finish.”

Just by him talking to me made me excited. “So I'm just supposed to just lay here, next to you?” I commented. Brian laughed then placed his hand on his face. Scratching his eyes. “yes. As much as i want you right now, legs behind your head damn near. I can't have you. Not yet. Now lay down next to me so I can get a good night's rest for the first time in 6 years.” 

I did what he asked. Brian wrapped his arms around me and pushed me back into him. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. The feeling caused me to become even more aroused, but I had to wait. I wanted him. His words were plentiful and i knew once we had sex, it would be something out of this world.


	7. Temptation takes over

*3 weeks later*

I made an agreement with Brian, I could stay at his place for as long as I wanted, if I gave up my profession. So instead of me dancing and being an escort, I had to enroll in my AA classes 3 times a week, and also get a job. I had put up Kevin’s money that he gave to me. I hadn’t seen him in 3 weeks and I was feenin for some sex. I was horny ALL the time and AJ’s slick enuindos didn’t help me. 

AJ was now able to stay out when he wanted. He only came to Brian’s house on the weekends. He called me every day to make sure he and I prayed. The LORD's Prayer. It helps. Brian even gets in on it every once in a while. Something tells me his sober path is something different than ours. 

At the house, Brian was making breakfast for AJ and I. “Brian where did you learn how to cook?? Your eggs are amazing.” I said setting the table. Brian smiled while at the stove. He had been in a really good mood lately. Not that he wasnt ever but when you're on a recovery path, every day counts, even the good days. 

“My mother, my grandma. Watching cooking shows. Simple things like that.” Brian brought over a skillet filled with Eggs, bacon sausage and veggies for breakfast burritos. “AJ did you grab the orange juice out of the fridge??” AJ was sitting on his phone playing a game. “Huh? Oh Shit! It’s in the freezer….hold on…”

AJ hopped up off the table and sprinted to the pantry to the freezer. I sat at my place at the /table. “So, Elena, are you busy tonight??” Brian sat the skillet down and sat next to me. “No, why?? I have a class at 9..other than that, nothing else.” 

Brian shifted his body towards me. “I want to take you out. We should celebrate. You have a new job, a car finally. You have been doing really well and I just want to show you how much of an impact you’ve made.” Brian’s hand touched my thigh and he caressed it. Giving me a smile. It wasn’t a bad thing. He had shown me how much he happy for me. I smiled back. “Are you telling me something Brian?” Brian shook his head. “Nothing at all. Unless you want me to.” I removed myself from the chair and stood behind him, leaning in against his ear and speaking softly. 

“What is it that you want?” He smelled of that cologne he sprayed on himself everyday. I could still smell his body wash on him. Brian’s grin crept on his face. He continued to look at the table. When he turned to me, I never backed up. I was now in between his legs. “You keep dropping hints like this and I’m going to have to tell AJ to leave.” I smiled a bit. “You wouldn’t let him stay?” Brian disagreed putting his hands up. “Nope, I don’t like people watching me with my woman, besides. The way that he looks at you, its not sexual. He cares for you, like a sister.” 

“And how do you look at me Brian?” The way that his kitchen was set up we were by the counter top in the dining area. Brian got up off the chair pushing me into the counter, I had no choice. He picked me up and placed me on the counter, nearly knocking over the prepped food we made. Brian grabbed the back of my neck and brought me closer to him. Placing his lips onto mine, taking small nibbles of my lip. His right hand balanced my neck as we kissed and his other firmly pressed onto my hips.

“Keep walking around here happy and I will always look at you.” The way he spoke to me wasn’t like Kevin at all. Kevin was always out to be forceful and sexual. Brian didn’t seem you wanted to “destroy” me sexually. Almost like he wanted to make love all night. But we would have to be in love in order to do that. 

“So are you going out with me or what tonight??” Brian asked finally. After that, I wanted him right here. On the table. AJ was here, then I remembered. AJ. He would flip the fuck out if he knew I had been making advances at Brian and Brian was gladly returning them. It was like we were playing without ever doing anything. That was the first time he kissed me. The feeling was different. I never returned the kiss. He wouldn’t let me.

“Ill be ready at 8…” I said in a daze. Brian smiled and helped me off the counter top. Once gaining composer, AJ came back in. “I didn’t see any orange juice Brian, the fuck you trying to do. I only found mango juice…” Brian sat down next to me at the table. “Sorry Bone, must’ve slipped my mind. Let’s eat.” 

We gathered hands and Brian began to pray.

“LORD, we come to you this morning with open hearts. Joined together wanting to say thank you for waking us up and gathered for breakfast. Bless this food that you have prepared for us. I thank you for helping us through our journey LORD, in your name we pray AMEN.” 

 

“Amen.” I picked up silverware and began to eat. AJ stared at the both of us as we ate. He seemed troubled by something. AJ was quiet and a little grumpy. I wonder what was the matter. “AJ are you ok??” I asked.  
“Yea, I am fine, listen Rok, can I talk to you in the other room please.” Brian looked at me and then at AJ. “Sure J. Excuse me Elena.” Brian and AJ both got up and left the room. I was in the dining room alone. I tried to hear the conversation but someone turned on the water in the kitchen. I just ate my burrito and drank my juice until they came back.

10 minutes later, both of them were at ease. For now. Seemed to be a hot discussion. I wanted to know. I didn't’t think AJ would tell me, but he and I were close. So when Brian leaves to go to the store for his monthly shopping, I would talk to AJ alone. I needed to. This wasn’t the first time they took off without me to have a discussion.


	8. Let's play

AJ and I played some nintendo64 while we waited on Brian. I managed to get the conversation started about AJ and Brian's talk. 

“You ok? You seemed on edge at breakfast.”  
“that's not all that's on edge here. Look. I know you already but I've known Brian a long time. Be careful. You could hurt him..he's a good man. But he has demons that only come out when he's with someone. Not that you two haven't been sneaking around my back.”

I looked down. “we are just playing.”

AJ tossed the controllee onto the couch. He seemes angry. “you cant fucking play with him elena. If you arent going to be with him. Dont fucking even look at him.” AJ scolded me once before. about Brian. But not like this. 

“He is an adult J. If he wants to have a sexual relationship with me thats his business.” AJ objected.

“That's just it E. He doesnt. He wants you. All of you. Not just pussy alright. he legit likes you and if you go back to your pimp daddy you'll hurt him.” that stung. 

“I wont hurt him.” i said quietly. I liked Brian. I liked our game. It was like a sexy game of cat and mouse. AJ was right though. I can't play with him. Brian was special. I had to give up a lot to be straight with him. He doesn't deserve to be played. Which was why I quit dancing for money and decided to teach instead. 

“he asked me out tonight. Can I go?” AJ seemed to be calm. A laugh eacaped his lips. “you're worse than a real sister. Look. Go have fun. Be careful. I trust him. He knows if he hurts you i'll kill him. Simple.” 

After AJs blessing, I needed a nap. AJ stayed downstairs while i went to nap in Brian's room. His bed was better. I was allowed. Why not. He wasn't here and I was safe. 

I made the bed ready for my nap. I wore a big tshirt and my knee high socks. I put my hair in a bun and took off my jewelry. Snuggling into the bed alone had its perks. This was the 2nd time i3 laid in Brian's bed alone. I told AJ where i was and hoped he didn't tattle. Not that brian would mind. I just liked the idea of a comfy bed. Nicks bed was too hard. 

My eyes began to close and I started to drift into REM sleep. Dreams and even dejavu flashed in my mind. I heard the door open but I didn't bother moving. I wasn't completely sleep as yet. I curled up to the pillow facing the window. I heard keys make contact to a table and a sigh. “So i leave for an hour and you take over my bed.. where am i supposed to sleep?”

Brian had made it back so that was my cue to get outta bed. I sat up and opened my eyes. Brian was halfway undressed. Shirt off and sweat pants low. Revealing that V cut i had seen before. “uhm. So you want me to go?” i asked looking for my pants I taken off. I was only in a tshirt. Nothing else. 

Brian made his way to the opposite side of the bed. “you may go. But I'd prefer you to stay. AJ is asleep downstairs.” i looked at the door he had closed and looked as if it was locked. 

“brian what was the talk you had with AJ. Why is he so eager to have me away from you?” brian sat on the bed and faced me. “you want the truth or you want me to lie.”

“I want you to tell me why you keep teasing me, if we're going to fuck, lets get it over with.”

Brian laughed. “so quick to decide what I want. What if that's not all i want. What if i just want you and no sex.”

I laughed. “the way you kissed me told me different. There's lust afoot Brian.”

Brian leaned back on his pillows. “true. But I want to know more than just how well you'd take me between your legs elena. I want to know if you're going to ve faithful. If you're not going to, then why start something we cant finish love. You dont seem like you just want to sleep with me and get it over with.”

I crossed my arms in defeat. “I would but-”  
“you want more. You dont want to just take your clothes off for me. You want to be able to make me want you, burn with the fact that i can't have you because you're protected. So we play. I know what AJ says about me. And he hasnt told you why.”

“Then you need to tell me. Why can't we start this.” 

Brian facial expression went soft and he looked up at the ceiling. “i was married.. she cheated..and it messee me up..she was everything to me. She and ix more so her we were toxic. We used together. In fact she introduced me to being a drinkee..i dont know how to stop. Then when i kicked the bottle.. it was pills..i hated how they made me feel. So, I got clean. She didn't. 2 years of it. I had to go. The divorce was horrible. The next 4 years i was off and on but eventually got sober. I honestly dont think i could handle another break up. She wasnt ready. And the fact sexually she wasn't up to my needs.”

Brian stopped talking. “Have i lost you yet?” i sat up on the bed and straddled my legs across Brian. The tshirt collar collapsed onto my shoulder, showing the start of another tattoo. Brian sat up to where our faces met. He wanted to see my ink closer. “why do you cover yourself up with this?” 

“I love art. And it feels good. If i could cover my entire body. I would.”   
“to hide your skin? Briand and my eyes met. I looked away. “the only men that like my skin, color and all is just because i fuck them and they dont have to tell their wives they went to the club to fuck a black girl. They like the control. They like the fact i'll do whatever they say for their cash..they dont like me. So i had more colors. At least I'm appealing to look at.”

Brian reached his hand up to my face. I yanked his hand away. Brian caught it and held it in one place. “I love your skin. Color and all. Dont let me hear you talk like that again…. Do you understand.” 

“what are you going to do to me. Tie me up and make me call you daddy? Thats what usually happens next.” Brian's seductiv grin peeped onto his lips and he picked me up. Gently laying me on the bed on my back. “Has a man ever pleased you before? Or is it the other way around.” brian made his way inbetween my legs, placed a kiss on my lips but never moved. I felt his member pressed onto my flesh. I held my breath. 

“You think you have me figured out huh?” Brian said while ontop of me. I shook my head. 

“not likely..if you're going to do it. Might as well now. You're halfway there.” brian smiled again. When he came to kiss me. I bit his bottom lip. He let out a soft groan. “you are a fiesty one.”

My hands were free. That meant if i wanted to. I could grab his sweats and take them off. As i was abou to reach for the linning of his pants. He stopped. A laugh escaped him. 

“you're going to be in so much trouble little lady. You should take your nap like you planned.” 

I sat up. “no way you cant do some shit like that and then demand i go to sleep.” brian laughed. “.i'm the only one suffering baby. Trust me. Lay down. I'll be back.” 

Brian left the room to go to the bathroom. “baby? The fuck…” we had nicknames now? I laid down on his pillows and closed my eyes. Mintues later he came back to lay with me. Wrapping his arms around my waist. Keeping himself distant.


	9. Chapter 9

I must've slept a long time. I felt groggy and out of it. But i felt good. I hadn't slept that good in years. I positioned myself to turn over and when i did brian was still sleeping. Arm over his face to hide. 

He looked so peaceful when he slept. I didn't want to disturb him. His body was also out of the covers. He must've been messing with his pants because his lining of his sweats were even lower than before. The small hairs from his member poked through the top. I had to contain myself. I shook my head and covered him up. 

“boy….” i took in big breath. I got outta bed to find my pants. They were nowhere to be found. I looked under the bed. nothing. 

I heard movement on the bed. I made myself seen by popping my head up from the ground. “Hey have you seen my pants?” i stood up looking all over the room. 

Brian yawned and looked by the foot of the bed. He got up to stretch. I went to grab my pants but beat me to it. “wait a min.” brian said in a whisper. 

“what?” i said back. Hoping he wouldn't ask me to do anything crazy.  
“you dont need those yet..sit down.” 

Brian had that look in his eyes..like he wanted me, but also wanted what all guys wanted. I knew we had been close to tearing each other's clothes off but he didn't even take his off. I sat on the bed. Brian came up to me and was about to take off his shirt, the knock on the door stopped him. 

“brian, is elena in there with you?” it was aj  
Brian sighed. He looked at me with puppy eyes. I damn near fainted. He pressed his own finger to his lips to get me to be quiet. “she is but she is in the bathroom. I'll tell her ou want her.” i listened to outside and noticed the footsteps took into the next direction. 

“Why did you lie? I asked looking at the door.  
Brian pushed me back on the bed. Pulling me by my legs to bring me closer to him. “so i could do this.”  
He pressed himself against me. I still felt the fabric of his sweats touching my freshly shaven flesh.  
“br-” brian cut me off. He pushed my legs up to my shoulders. Almost like he was helping me stretch. 

He leaned in as far as he could go and kissed my lips..he entered his tongue and teased me. I couldn't move. Much. Brian came back from the kiss and looked at me. “told you I could get your legs back.” i had no doubt that he could. I was just shocked. 

“brian if we keep playing like this, you'll have blue balls.” brian laughed and shook his head. “you're lucky aj is looking for you otherwise id be inbetween tasting you right now. Get dressed beautiful. We're going shopping.” brian helped me up off the bed at the same time while pulling me into a kiss. 

“fuck.” I said quietly. The look on Brians face showed that he knew I would enjoy it. He was very confident to get me where he was. I wasn't use to this type of play. Its never llasted this long. If we didn't go at it tonight i might be the one with the blueness.


	10. Secrets unfolded

I managed to get myself dressed for the rest of the day. Brian wanted to take me out on the town. Dinner and maybe even a play. I told him i loved musicals and there was one playing. I wore jeans that had been designed to have holes up the leg. I wore lose button up shirt. Blue tank top. I didn't know how to really dress up for a date, unless there was sex involved. The knock on my door interrupted my makeup session.

“hey you busy?” aj peeked in. I noticed he had his hands behind his back. “what do you have there?”  
AJ came in and handed me flowers. “peace offering. Im sorry E. I'm an asshole. You deserve to know what a good Brian is.. I guess I'm protective.. he is a good friend of mine when you told me your past I immediately thought of his ex kristin.”

I froze. “who?”  
“kristin… Brian's ex. She was a dancer like you. But she's a little out there now.” i felt sick to my stomach. I dropped my makeup..

“AJ…. Can you keep a secret.”  
Aj laughed. “ no. You know I cant.” still laughing. My face for sure went pale.

“Elena are you ok? You look sick.” “AJ remember my agreement from the mister. And i told you that my friend and i fell for the same guy...but he married her instead. And he wanted the both of us. Kristin is that friend. Kristin is married to kevin… kevin is my mister.”

AJ stared at me. “you're lying. Right?” i shook my head. “my date the 2nd night here I was with him. Have you never seen kevin with her before???” 

AJ shook his head. “No...wait…. KEVIN?? Brian's cousin???? Kevin's been the one hurting you!?” in a quickness before i could say anything. AJ bolted out the door. “AJ! Stop!!”

I ran after him. I had to. He would ruin everything between Brian and I. I stepped in front of AJ at the top of the stairs. “you can't tell j. You promised me! Look i'll tell brian all of it but i cant tell. Him kevin is the one i was with. Kevin doesnt even know I'm still here. He doesnt want me with brian..”

AJ was seething. I had never seen him so pissed. “Elena if he EVER comes up here I will go back to jail. Do you understand me?!” AJ grabbed me by my shoulders and began shaking me. I was almost close to the end of the steps before Brian came. 

He stopped it. I was scared as hell. “AJ STOP! what the fuck is wrong with you??” brian pushed AJ away and reached for me. I snapped out of it before the two almost fought. 

I stepped inbetween them. “no stop guys! Hey! Seriously!” AJ was first to stop. “Elena you better tell him or I will! You dont know what he will do to you. What he did to her!!” I didn't understand. AJ was in tears. His face red..hands in a fist. 

“AJ, what's going on buddy?” AJ wad shaking. I felt so bad. “I'll be in the room. I cant do this…” and with that he left. I looked at Brian. He didn't even ask me what was going on. He just grabbed for me and gave me a hug. “are you ok?” we were close. I was shaking. “i have to tell you something. Just  
Don't be mad...know that I never wanted you mixed in this mess.” 

Brian nodded to me in understanding concern. “i dont care. Nobody puts their hands on a woman. You could have fallen. I should go in there and beat hisass for this..but i know that's unlike AJ. He loves you.” 

I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to leave. “I have to go brian.”

I tried to step away but Brian didn’t allow me to do so. “You aren’t leaving. I want to know what is going on between you two. Seriously.”

I sat on the steps and kept my distance. “You will need to sit down for this.” Brian sat next to me. “Okay.” 

“You have to promise me, you will not look at me any different than you do now. Please?”  
“I will not.” Brian watched my every move while I talked.   
“You already know that I use to dance. You know that I did go on a date for money, a client from the club. That client and I use to sleep together, until he got married. I never knew why he was so interested in her. Until now. My best friend was the one my mister married. He wanted us both. I declined. That day that I met you and Nick, an Kevin, Kevin wanted to talk.”

Brian stopped me. “About what?? Do you know him or something??”   
I nodded. “I didn’t know you and him were related. He stopped talking to me the day I started staying here..until that night I went on the date.”  
Brian was quiet. 

I turned to him. “Say something. Please.”  
“What else.”   
“I didn’t sleep with him, by this time I hadn’t in months. Well AJ wanted to talk today. I found out that Kevin’s wife. The one he’s been married to, my best friend, is your ex wife… and that is why Kevin didn’t want me here. But that doesn’t explain why AJ wants to get back at kevin.

I searched Brian’s face for anything positive. There wasn’t anything. Just blank. “Brian, I never knew any of this and I am not here on behalf of them. I am here because you asked me to be here and I wanted to give that life up, but when Kevin came back he tried to act like he was jealous that I looked at you, the way I did look at him once.” 

 

“The night we met, Kevin made those comments about you. You never heard them. He was so rude and nasty. He use to do that with Kristin. I never knew why. Now I do. He knew you guys because he had been with you, so it was like he had a right to do so.”

I was sick to my stomach. “Brian you have to know that I never wanted you to be hurt by this. Im just as confused as you are. I didn’t want to drag you nor AJ into this...but..why is he so upset??”

Brian shifted his body to me on the steps. “This isn’t my story to tell...It’s AJ’s but I am sure he is upset, not at you nor me but just in general. AJ had a younger sister. Almost like you. We all loved her. Kevin took a liking to her very well. She loved kevin. They were going to get married. Well, she ended up going missing the night before the wedding. Nobody knows where she is. AJ had a good suspicion that Kevin, that Kevin killed her. He has a jealous side that nobody really knows but AJ and I. which is why AJ wanted you to be careful, and now that he knows Kevin is the man, you were with he is going to make sure you never see him again. If you ever decide to not see him kevin will come for you...and he will hurt you. Like he hurt AJ’s sister. We can’t protect you if we don’t know everything.” 

I was just as shocked as Brian was hearing this story. “So, you aren’t kicking me out?” Brian didn’t say anything. “I think if you want to stay here, you should cut all ties, to the club, to kevin, everyone. I don't want him here. I told you my ex cheated, I never told you I found out who she cheated with. Kevin and I made up about it, but it still hurts. You have to be care around him Elena, he’s pretty crafty.” 

This was a lot to take in. Any moment I know kevin would be contacting me to come see him. I was running out of money and I needed it. I always needed it. I promised Brian I would stop. I didn't’t know what to do. I needed to tell Kevin I was cutting ties with him, I wanted to be happy without him. I wanted to be happy with Brian. There was only one way to do this.


	11. About time

That phone call to Kevin was a nerve wrecking deal. I knew he would be wanting to see me. He'd also want to have sex and I didn't want to. I had to go about this a different way. I just needed to tell him I was leaving town and I was leaving Brian alone. 

“kev, where are you?” kevin had been with his wife for a while to get her pregnant. which means they weren't without one another. Today he was working. 

“hey my little hershey kiss. How are you? Are you needing some business today? I’m free around 12 if you want to come to my hotel. You know how I like it. You wear that black dress and come over to the door. I'll have room service-” i cut him off. 

“kev I'm leaving town.” short and to the point.   
Kevin was quiet. “oh? Are you still hanging around my cousin? Did he break your heart or something.” kevin laughed in the phone. “No. The living situation isnt working out. I'm leaving town and when I get settled i'll call. There's no need to bug Brian and AJ about me.”

Kevin sighed on the phone. “I'm going to miss you. So how much do you need to get settled?” this wasn't what I wanted. But as soon as he said money, I became alert. I could pay brian and make sure he kept the money. I could get my studio opened up and pay off my car.

“enough for a place and my car… once settled in i'll contact you.” 

“you're smart. I wish you'd stick around..you know once this baby is born I'll need to find another outlet..Kristin won't be able to fuck me for weeks.. so how about I'll send you what you need and when it's done you come stay with me and we can get away.”

He was such a dog. “yea..sure..what time can I expect it?”

I heard him moving around on the phone. “in about 3 hours you should have money my little chocolate queen. See you soon.”

He made me sick. It was like I was his personal slut. I sat on the steps of the apartment. The time was 7pm. Brian and I had a date. I needed to talk to AJ. He had been so quiet this afternoon. And I felt bad about what happened.

Brian wasn't inside when I went in. I needed to find AJ. He was in the spare room. Music blasting. I knocked twice.. no answer. “J, can you open up. I want to talk.” 

The door opened and AJ stood in front of me. With a cigarette. I snatched it from him. “are you stupid!? This can kill you a little quicker than the bottle dumb ass. Are you that upset at me that you'll need to smoke?” 

“what is it E..im kinda in the middle of something.”  
“I'm done with kevin….but he is giving me money..and if I don't take it he'll realize I haven't left town. What do I do?”

“put it in another bank so he cant track it. Listen I'm sorry I blew up…. I had no excuse.” AJ had calmed his nerves. 

“I know what happened to your sister AJ. I'm so sorry.” AJ has never ever shut me out entirely. AJ just looked at me. “thank you.” I didn't want to bug him anymore. AJ shut the door and left me in the hallway. There was more to the story. I didn't want to pry. I already felt sick that kevin stole Brian's wife...that was a hard pill to swallow. 

I went back to Brian's room to find him reading. When he saw me he put the book down. “are you alright? Did you decide to stay?”   
“I want to. But you have to know I talked to Kevin. I told him I was leaving town. So that he doesn't bother you guys about me.”  
“kevin is my cousin he isn't going to just go away. What else?”  
“He is setting me up financially.”

Brian was quiet. “dont accept.”  
“are you insane? I have to or else he's going to come here?!”

Brian threw his book against the wall and got off the bed walking towards me. I was standing by the door. Brian flung his arms up by me. “He still fucking you if you take that money Elena, if you accept he has a right to come for you! You'll be just another one of his whores!” 

In a split second my hand swept his face. I had slapped him. Didnt take long for Brian to grab me and push me against the door. He stared at me. Blue eyes were bright like ice. I wasn't worried. I was turned on. I reached up to kiss him and he returned the favor. More than once. Brian didn't stop. It was then he reached for my polo and ripped it straight down the middle. My bra was now showing. 

It was on now. Nothing could hold us back or stop us.


	12. Lust of a wolf

As my arms were wrapped around his neck Brian picked me up and put me against the wall. Kissing my lips my neck my cleavage anything he could reach. He snatched my bra off exposing my breasts. Brian brought his face to meet mine. “you're in big trouble now.”

I kissed him harder to prevent him from saying more. Brian paused, his hand on my breast tentatively stroked my nipple through the fabric again, and then he quickly pushed away my robe from that side of my chest. He looked at my uncovered breast with adoring eyes and massaged my nakedness as he pulled his other hand down much further, where my thighs met my sex.

Brian stroked my opening gingerly, as if I were a delicate flower that might fall apart. Slowly, he pushed two fingers into me and I soon found myself pressing onto his hand. Pressing hard.

His crooked mouth moved from my mine and trailed down my neck until he finally reached my naked breast. He kissed every inch and took my nipple into his mouth, suckling as if I was his nourishment.

The hand inside me increased tempo and I gasped at the mounding sensations within me. He licked my breast once more and traversed down my stomach to meet his currently occupied hand.

Brian stooped down to his knees and gently separated my labia with both hands. He angled his face up to kiss my pussy, first lightly, teasingly. Then he plunged his tongue deep inside of me and I practically fainted. I began pushing down against his mouth rhythmically. His tongue darted firmly within me--sucking, caressing and causing me to nearly explode.

We both moaned loudly.

Breathless, I straightened myself up and pulled Brian out of me to tug at his pants. But he stopped my hands and whispered, “I’m not finished.”

 

Slowly Brian undid my jeans helping me out of them and threw the fabric to the floor. He laid me down on my bed and covered my entire naked body in kisses. Then he once again began to kiss the innermost part of me--this time he went painfully slow until my entire body quaked with delight. He kissed me down there one more time and grabbed hold of my thighs while I bucked against his mouth.

Sitting up, Brian climbed on top of me and I could feel his press firmly into my pelvis. Running his hands along my bare breasts, he kneaded them gently. He pressed harder into my body until I thought I could take no more. So slowly, Brian began to rub hisself against mine. Every few seconds I felt him hit me just right, so that I kept wanting more—but I wanted him deep inside of me.

I once again pried away at his waistband.

At that point Brian remembered himself again. He stood up, wiped his mouth and pulled me up into his arms.

Brian had this look on his face like he wanted more. He made my head spin. I kissed him once nore more biting his lip

I pushed him back down onto my bed and climbed on top, straddling his firm crotch.

“I want you,” I whispered.

Brian growled with lust and rolled me over, so that he was on top once again. He leaned down as if to kiss me. “Are you sure, Elena?”

“Yes,” I didn’t recognize my own voice. I was a stranger, a confident queen.

Brian slipped off his pants and lightly pressed against me. Licking his fingers, he rubbed my insides once more and pressed himself slightly into my vagina. He placed one hand beneath my head and the other to my right side and slowly pushed his way deeper into my body.

“you are so beautiful.” he said to me as our position was starting to ease itself. Even the brief pain of feeling flesh stretch inside a secret space. I wanted to keep it all forever. He felt amazing. Nothing like anybody I had ever been with. Brian was something else, an animal. Almost like this is what he was missing. Once fully inside my body, Brian began to rock gently in and out, massaging my tight channel. He shuddered in pleasure and roughly kissed my mouth.

“Oh, Elena…”

In that moment, nothing mattered beyond the feeling of his bare skin against mine. His sweat and fluids, every inch of his body belonged to me. Nothing else was anything. Not the fact I was with his cousin, or the prospect of being a dancer. nor the warnings that Brian was a wolf waiting to devour me.

I sighed in perfect contentment. If this was what it meant to be eaten by a wolf, then I would gladly be his prey.


	13. Morning after

As we lay in each other's arms. I started to think. What did this mean? I needed to get up. I wasn't allowed to stay in Kevin's bed, so I needed to get out of Brian's. I sat up covering myself up. Brian shifted to move his arm. “ Where are you going? “

I looked around the room at the book scattered on the floor and our clothes. “My clothes…” Brian scooted closer to me. “You don't have to go.”  
“Brian we missed our date, we slept together. C'mon you know I can't stay the night in your bed.” 

I felt Brian kiss my uncovered shoulder. “Stay with me.” He continued to kiss my shoulder. His facial hair tickled every time he kissed. Chills raced down my back. “I can't.” I said in between a stutter.

Brian sat up and pushed me back on to his bed. “I'll make you stay.”

Brian positioned himself on top of me, sliding himself inside. He was hard as a rock and my body welcomed him. With a hard thrust, my body collapsed onto his bed. “It seems like you don't want to go either.” Our bodies moved with one another, Brian placed my legs around his waist as he thrust his hips back and forth. Every moment took my breathe. 

My breasts bounced as we moved all over his bed. Brian's hands went from my lower back to hold me steady, to the back of my neck. Holding me in place as his member slide in and out of me. “I want you to wait.”  
I couldn't hold it. I was about to explode. Brian noticed and then he started to slow down. Slow easy thrusts.

“you don't come unless I tell you.”  
My body was on fire. Brian removed himself from in between my legs and positioned his head there instead. Immediately gliding a finger over my clit, every touch was sensitive. 

“Brian….”

“don't you dare. “ he said to me. I had to make myself hold it. I gripped the blankets as he rubbed the outer layer of me softly. Blowing on it gently. I felt his lips kiss the inner thigh, then his teeth made contact with my skin. He began sucking on my thigh, leading down to the lips. Brian slowly flicked his tongue into them bringing them into his mouth, trailing his tongue up to my clit then started to lick, suck and nibble. 

I was in a daze. I tried so hard not to let go. I couldn't take it. I felt his fingers inside me as his mouth played. In and out motions. Fast and slow. I soon felt a second finger inside. They were all the way inside I could feel his knuckles hitting the outer part of me. 

“brian…” I sighed again. Once I thought he was done, he wasn't. Brian came back inside of me again reaching for my arms. Holding them above my head. I couldn't move. As Brian pushed himself hard inside me, he never stopped. 

We were face to face. “Don't come until I tell you to.” one thrust after another, I could feel the wetness flow down my legs and even his. I was getting hot and I wanted to let go. I felt my body clinch onto him as he rode on top of me. Hands still above my head. I wanted to let go. “I want to come. Please don't stop.” I saw a smile on his face. 

He wanted me to beg. He wanted me to tell him that I wanted him. Brian let go of one of my hands. “rub your clit for me baby.” I did as he asked. My own touch sent my body over the edge. Brian still thrusting into my body. So much the bed was moving. The headboard made noises. 

“You feel so good.” he said in my ear. Our moans filled my ears. He sounded like heaven when he said my name.

“Make me come for you Brian.” I said finally regaining words. I stopped what I was doing and allowed Brian to do what he wanted. He let my legs go and wrapped them around his waist. Still wanting to hold onto one of my arms. He started to go faster. Our breathing was all over the place. We were close enough to kiss. I reached for his neck and began kissing him. Making circles with my tongue, taking small bites into his skin. He let out a moan that my ears enjoyed. His grip became tighter and he lost it. 

“I'm going to come. “ I wanted him to. I wanted to.  
We both let it out at the same time. In the midst of it all, Brian didn't pull out. He just stayed there. Once he stopped. He and I looked at each other. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. “You're amazing my Queen.” Talk about pulling on the heartstrings. 

“Stay with me.” he asked me again.  
“I'll stay..”

Brian removed himself then laid next to me. Wrapping his arms around my waist. In minutes he was snoring. I soon fell asleep after.


	14. The L word

***6 months later**

The house was quiet. The weather started to pick up. It was November. Thanksgiving week. The guys were having a big deal about Thanksgiving. Nick was coming back to his room would be back to use. I was actually staying in Brian's bed. Ever since the first time we slept together I never left. 

He was fast asleep snoring with his arm covering his face. The alarm shouted 8 am on November 25th. It was my birthday. I tapped Brian to wake up. He didn't budge. “Bri? Hey, hon wake up.”

He still didn't make a sound. I got outta bed taking the blankets with me. “Brian c'mon dude we gotta go get this food to take to your mom's…..”

He was a hard sleeper. As much sex, we had you'd think he could just wake up rested. 

I came up to his side of the bed and leaned down. “Brian, c'mon babe get up.”   
He opened his eyes finally. Those crisp blue eyes were looking back at me. “How long have you been awake,” He asked. “10 minutes. Time to get up.” I stepped back to allow him to get up but he had other plans. 

Brian pulled me down on the bed, holding me on top of him. “Are you ready for this?” 

I shrugged. “To meet your family? As ready as I'll ever be. What have you told them?”  
“nothing major. Just I met this girl. She's sober. Smart. Hell of a dancer. She's the woman of my life. I love you… Elena.”

I sat on top of Brian shocked. I couldn't catch my breath. “wh- what?” I stuttered. 

Brian sat up holding me still in his lap. My legs stretched on both sides of him. “I said I love you. Normally people say it back.”

I couldn't. “Brian, I j-” The look on his face showed concern.

There was a knock on the door. Brian smiled at me. “Take all the time you need.” Brian reached up to kiss my forehead. I allowed him to get up to open the door. It was AJ.

“Hey, ready to go?” AJ didn't realize the moment that just happened. I didn’t know what to do. “Yea, I guess we are ready.” Brian gathered his bathroom stuff and headed to his bathroom. 

AJ looked at me. “What happened?”

I didn't answer. I couldn't tell him that Brian told me he loved me. AJ would flip out. I decided to keep quiet. “Nothing. I'm going to get dressed.” I grabbed my clothes and went into the hallway bathroom. I spent a lot of time going back and forth. Did I love him? Or just the idea of being with someone? 

Our chemistry was fire. Brian had been sober almost 6 years when he met me. I didn't want to be the cause of relapse. I hadn't heard from Kevin in months so that must've meant I was free for real. I started the shower water while getting my hair together. 

My shower was short. I didn’t want to take up much time getting ready. We were driving to the airport to pick up Brian’s parents. I hadn’t even met them yet. I was sure Brian had mentioned me to them. At least I had hoped. 

I had just pulled up my jeans and put on my belt. I wanted to wear my Nike hoodie with my Nike shoes. My hoodie was in the other room, Brian’s room. I sat on the tub putting on my shoes. I put on my yellow shirt. My hair was up, perfumed sprayed. I hadn’t faced Brian since before my shower. I wasn’t really dreading it. I just didn’t know what to say. I gathered the rest of my stuff in the bathroom and went out to the hallway towards Brian’s room. That is where my shoes were. 

I had hoped he was not upset that I didn’t tell him I loved him back. I didn’t know. Hell, I don’t know what I feel. I opened the door to his room, he was putting on a shirt. “Are you almost ready?” Brian pulled his shirt over his head and adjusted the tail of it. I just watched him. He had touched up his beard, clothes ironed and shoes clean. He looked very good. Not that he didn’t always but we spent a lot of time together in bed. This would be our first outing in months. 

“Yea, hey listen, Brian, I am so-”   
“I will give you time, I know there is something there and I know you care about me. You want to be sure you love me, which I don’t think that is the issue. I think you are afraid to say it. Because then it means you have become the woman you wanted to be for yourself and for me. It’s a huge step. I haven’t even properly asked you out yet.”

He was right. “Yea, but you don’t understand, if Kevin comes back-”  
“I’ll kick his ass if he touches you. I love you, Elena, rather that be as your man or your friend. My love for you will not change. I do not feel remorse for someone that steals their cousin’s wife then harms a younger woman for sexual pleasure.” 

His words hit me hard. I understood. I just didn’t want to hurt him. I needed to be sure I loved him before I even said it. I wanted to be sure this wasn’t just lust. For sure that is what we had. Passion, lust and even excitement. 

I wanted to be sure.


	15. Meet the parents (editing in process)

The drive to the LAX was a quiet one. I had a lot on my mind. AJ and Brian were talking up a storm as if nothing happened between them. That must be what boys do. Forget and forget. The two were chumy all of the sudden. As we drove to the airport, Brian grabbed my hand and held it as he drove. This wasn’t new. We went on many drives together, sometimes late at night, just to sit under the stars. 

One night we sat under the stars in his jeep, it was a romantic evening. Brian was ready to go home. I had other plans. “I don’t want to go yet….can we stay another hour??” I pleaded as we were sitting in the jeep. Brian sighed.  
“Girl you are out here in this small skirt and things and you want me to wait another hour?? I want you now!” I laughed. “Well who says you can’t have me now? Why not here?” Brian looked around and then at me. “You mean..out here? In the open?” Brian’s face was priceless.  
“You never done it outside before?” I laughed at Brian trying to look around for anybody lurking.  
“Brian, you said it yourself, multiple times, no one knows this spot and you come here and sometimes are out here alone for hours. C’mon, I can’t wait until we get home...just take me now.” 

My seductive smile turned Brian on. I could tell by his laugh. “Girl you just don't know…” 

His hand grazed my thigh as he turned to me. “You're so beautiful. Why won't you just hurry up and let ke date you already.” Brian said jokingly. If anybody knows how he is, he isnt one to rush a relationship. Our sex life was just fine. I didn't want to complicate things with a label. I did care for him. 

Bruan leaned in and kissed my lips ending it with a kiss on my cheek. “wait until we get home. I want you all to myself my Queen and that is a fact.” I didn't want to wait. But i respected his request. It just meant that when we got home he and I were going to tear the walls down.

My thoughts were broken by the sound of AJ calling my name. “Hey E. We are going to wait here while Brian finds his folks.” I hadnt realized we had parked. I must've day dreamed the entire way here. 

I got out of the car with Brian to go to the backseat. “Where are you going?” He asked me. “Your mom can sit up front. I'll sit in the back with AJ and your dad. No worries.” I gave him a small smile. Brian returned on right after he gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You're amazing.” he soon took off. 

AJ stared me down when he and I locked eyes. I didnt know what to say. “So….how long has that been going on?” AJ asked me as I got into the jeep. “um… well. A while. I know you don't want me with him-” AJ cut me off. “No. I don't want you and him to get hurt. I just want you happy. He seems to make you happy. And you've been clean for months. And you haven't had a escort date in a while. Keep it that way.”

I grimaced at that comment. “Can we not mention that around his parents.” AJ agreed. “Do you love him elena?”

I was quiet. I still didn't know. “I dont know J…. I care so much for Brian. But we are both broken. We can't fix each other. I would do anything for him.” AJ looked straight ahead.   
“That's love babe. You're jusy afraid. If you love him he won't want it. I know Brian. By now he's expressed feelings and it scares you. As far as broken. He is the best guy I know. He means it this time.”

I appreciated AJ's concern. I loved him. But AJ and I were friends. I slet with Brian. We had chemistry. He made me feel like a woman should feel and I know I made him feel like a man. What was I afraid of?


	16. Be quiet

Soon after Brian appeared with two people. They were about his height. Assuming they were his parents. AJ went up to them both hugging them  
“Hey Mr and Mrs Littrell.”  
“Hello Alex. Nice to see you. Who is this lovely lady?” 

They had noticed me in the backseat. I got out to greet them. 

“Mom, dad. This is Elena.” Brian was beaming from ear to ear. I shook his parents hands but they were huggers. This made Brian happy. “Hello Elena, I'm Jackie and this is my husband Harold.” I acknowledged them both with a smile.

We all got into the car and traveled back to the house. “So Elena what do you do for work? Brian told me you're into performing arts. Dancing?” 

I shot a look at Brian in the review. He was definitely looking back at me. “Y...yea. I'm a dancer. Have been for 7 years or so.” I was quiet after that. I hoped to God he didn't tell her family I was an escort. I didn't want to have that awkward conversation. 

At the house, Brian's parents took Nick's room and I stayed with Brian. While they were getting settled in I followed Brian back to his room. “So what did you tell your parents about me?”

“I told them that you and I are working towards being a unit. I know how you feel about a relationship. But I'm not Kevin. I dont have a need for two women. Just you.” Brian was taking his shoes off. “I think it's time for a nap. What do you say?” As he laid on the bed he made room for me as well. 

Pulling me in, his beard tickled my face. I giggled quietly trying to keep my voice down. “Brian your parents are here. Which means until they leave you cannot be naughty. You have to be a good boy.” Brian positioned himself on top of me leaning in for a kiss. 

“Kind of hard to be good when you're with me. Take your pants off.” I slid them down just a little. Showing my yellow thong. “There.” Brian shook his head. 

“All the way.”  
I rolled away from him and sat up on my knees. Allowing Brian to be on the bed, I laid him back. I was getting off the bed. “If you want me to take my pants off you have to give me room.” 

Taking the pants off slowly, Brian watched. One leg out then the other. Pulling on my thong strings. Making then snap against my skin. Brian watched. 

“Lay back.” I whispered. 

“What are you going to do?” Brian asked me. I smiled. “You wanted to go to sleep. There's only one way to go to bed. I have to tire you out first.”


	17. Hello cousin

Just as I was about to take off my shirt. There was a knock at the door. I jumped and flew to the bed. Hiding under the covers. Brian didnt move. “come in” he said. I didnt move much. I heard a voice in the doorway. It was his dad. 

I laid perfectly still. My face was by Brian's zipper.   
“Where did your lady friend go?” His dad asked.   
“Uh. the shower why what's up?” as Brian and his father talked. I massaged his upper body with my hands. He wanted to play and I was going to give it to him. 

Unzipping his zipper slowly, I put my hand around his throbbing piece. Brian squirmed a bit but not so much to be noticable. I pushed myself towards it just a bit to where I could my mouth on just the tip. I felt Brian flex it at the base of my tongue. His speech was definitely effected by my action. 

The conversation didn't last long. I almost had my mouth over the tip until Brian's hand reached for the back of my neck to hold me in place. That was his guesture he wanted more. 

“Dad can we talk later. I'm kinda in the middle of taking a nap..” I felt himself flex one more time. His hand came from behind my neck to my mouth. Close enough to even kiss. I licked the tip of his finger and nibbled. I heard the door shut and the covers soon flew off me. “you're in trouble ma'am.”

I laughed at his comment. “you said you wanted it.” laughing this time a little more. Brian pulled me closer to him holding himself on top of me. Hands above my head being held by one hand. the other around my neck. I didnt mind him being forceful with me. I knew he would never hurt me. Brian let my hands go. He then started pulling my shirt off over my head soon after. My bra came off right behind it. 

I watched as he pulled a long scarf out his pocket.   
“What's that for?” Brian let my hands go. “if you want. I can use it on me. Or you.” i brought my hands to him and allowed him to tied my wrists in a bow. Lightly. 

Brian soon after doing so, we started to kiss. His tongue trailed down my neck, to my breasts. Circling his tongue around my now stiffen nipples. He continued to kiss down my stomach, to the lining of my thong. 

Slowly pulling my thong down with his teeth. Kissing at my thighs and nipping at them ever so often. Pain wasn't the sensation but more so of a excitement. I knew what was coming next. 

Tracing his lips down to the very end, right when he was about to start. There was another knock. I was about to explode. Brian never budged he came up to me and put his hand over my mouth. 

“Go away!” he shouted. I laughed under his hand.   
“Hey cousin you didn't tell me your parents were here”

Brian and I both sat up. Looking at one another in disbelief. I shook my head. I knew I was rid of him for a while but I also knew he would be back. Brian and I knew who it was. Brian took in a breathe. Letting my hands go and also untying me. “One second Kev.”

\-----


	18. Not wanted

Brian didn’t go flying for the door just yet. I was sitting on the bed trying to wrap my head around what was going on. “He said he was trying to get his wife pregnant...why would he be here?” 

When I said that, Brian’s look changed. “Is that why she left you, Brian? Because you want to be a father?” Brian shrugged as he put his shoes on. “Yea, well that was 6 years ago. No matter. Listen, Elena, Kevin came in spite of that. He is probably here to tell your business and my own.” I knew why Kevin was here. He wanted me back. Kristin’s pregnancy was probably confirmed and Kevin was looking for his next meal for the next few months. I was dreading it. 

“I can’t go out there, this will be the most awkward dinner ever…” I flopped on the bed. Brian came up to me helping me up. “Kevin’s a lot smarter than that. He wouldn’t just show up here and have it end just yet. He has a plan. We won’t know what the plan is until we go down there.” Seconds later, AJ appeared by the doorway in a frantic.

“Rok! Kev is here!” He shut the door. We were both aware of the fact that Kevin had shown up. “Yea J we know...he came to the room. The door was closed. We have to go down there. Listen, let us do the talking. Don’t even let Kevin know you have any idea as to what is going on.” 

This took a while to convince AJ. He didn’t like Kevin. For what he did to Brian, and what he was doing to me. 

“One slick move Brian and that is his ass...I swear.” Brian agreed. “He won’t. But ok. Let’s go.” 

We made our way downstairs. My heart was beating 90 miles per hour. I was nervous. Kevin was not supposed to know that I was even here at Brian’s. Dinner that was planned was Chinese food. We set the table. I helped Jackie in the kitchen while the men set the table. “So Elena, how do you know my son?” 

“I actually met him through AJ, we attend our meetings together.” Brian’s mother smiled. “Aw, how sweet. It is always nice to take the journey with someone in support. AJ is such a nice boy.” While we talked, I could tell she loved her son. Brian was her everything. He wasn’t her only son, in fact, he was also the youngest. 

In the kitchen, Kevin managed to sneak his way in. “Hey Aunt Jackie, do you mind if I help out? Brian needs your help out there. He is such a butterfingers.” Jackie smiled and made her way to the dining area. 

I took in a breath and tried to ignore Kevin. “So, you were going out of town and what happened??” Kevin asked coming up to me. Grabbing my arm tightly. I wasn’t afraid of him. I was just finished being his meal. “Get off me, Kevin. Why didn’t you tell me Kristin was Brian’s ex-wife???” 

Kevin stared at me. “You mean you didn’t know? I figured you would have known that way by now. Look if you wanted me so bad you should have just said yes.” I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t want to be second.” 

He smiled. “Yea you wanted to be the only one. I get it. Listen that is just not how I roll. Look just ditch my cousin and come back I am really missing you.” Kevin cornered me by the pantry. I had nowhere to go. He grabbed me by my waist with one hand and with the other, the back of my hair. 

“You’ve been fucking my cousin haven’t you?” I tried to get away but he was a lot stronger this time. Maybe he always has been stronger and my being with Brian had softened me a bit. 

“Let me go, Kevin.” Kevin’s forceful hand was enough for me to take. He pressed my face against the pantry wall, pulling my pants to try and loosen them up. I didn’t want this. I tried to make noises, even scream but this would have been even more awkward if Brian’s parents came in to see Kevin near me. So I let him do what he wanted. It wasn’t much. 

His own hand hurt. He was trying to hurt me. He succeeded. Gripping my arms behind my back with one hand and the other down my pants. Why didn’t anybody come to check on us?? Why didn’t Brian notice I was gone?

Once Kevin was done, he smiled at me as he reached for my face to touch it. Tears streamed down my face. I backed up when Kevin tried to touch me. “See you later Hershey Kiss.” With that, he left. 

I wanted to throw up. He was a sick bastard. He was no longer asking me to be with him. Me being with Brian was a threat to Kevin. 

I decided to keep quiet. I went to the table to sit. I had walked past AJ. I was on edge. AJ noticed. “Hey, are you ok?” I blocked him out. “Yea, I am fine.” The food was distributed between all of us. I sat in between Brian and AJ, and Jackie, Harold, and Kevin sat on the other side. I prayed for this night to be over. I didn’t want to be in the same room as Kevin, let alone look at him. 

It had been an hour of talking and avoiding the fact that Kevin was not a stranger to me. I had to excuse myself. Too many slick remarks from him made me want to throw up. I got up and apologized to everyone at the table. I made my way to the bathroom and shut the door. As soon as the bathroom door shut, I began to cry. I had never been taken advantage before. Kevin was never like that with me. At least I didn’t think so. I felt violated, disrespected. I felt dirty. 

There was a knock on the door. It was AJ. “Hey what’s goin-”  
One look at me and he snapped. 

“Elena, what happened?” I didn’t speak. AJ tried to reach for me but I backed up. “Did he hurt you?” 

I didn’t speak. I could tell AJ was about to snap even more. I tried to find the words to stop him. 

“AJ please...don’t leave me alone.” AJ was halfway out the door. “I am going to fucking kill him! How can he do this in the house?!” I was starting to shake and I didn’t want to go into detail about what had happened. I begged AJ to stay. 

“Please.” In between sobs. AJ gave in and shut the bathroom door. He sat on the floor with me. “I am so sorry E…” I continued to cry. I couldn’t tell Brian this happened. This would tear his parents up and mess things up between him and I. This was a secret that AJ and I wouldn’t ever tell.


	19. Round 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning explicit language will occur

AJ spent an hour with me. We were missing dinner. There was another knock at the door. This time it was Brian. He didn't seem upset. More so concerned.   
“you want to tell me what's going on??” He knew my history with Kevin. Brian also knew I didn't want to be down there. 

AJ evoked at Brian with the saddest look I had ever seen. 

“He attacked her… in the kitchen.” AJ's own voice broke. I felt my stomach in my throat. I didnt want him to tell. I heard Brian inhale a breath. “Elena why didn't you say anything? You had me down there talking to that son of bitch for an hour.” Brian was headed for the door with bawled fists. 

I was too slow. I don't even think it happened that fast. As soon as I was to my feet, Brian and AJ were out the door headed to the dining area. 

I ran as fast as I could. “you piece of shit!” Brian screamed loud. “You come into my house and you touch my girlfriend!? I should best the fuck out of you now!”

I broke between Brian and Kevin. Brian was shorter than Kevin, but taller than me. I had a hard time keeping them from exchanging words. Kevin wwas very quiet about it. AJ eventually stepped in between the two and managed to get me out the way. 

“I didnt touch that slut! You and I both know these kinds of women aren't capable of love. You learned that the first time Brian Jesus Christ grab your balls and get a hold of them!”

The loudest whistle formed from across the room. It was Brian's dad. 

“ENOUGH!! Sit down. Both of you!”

Brian stood in front of me, while AJ held me close. Kevin on the opposite side. Both boys were fuming. 

Harold came up to both of us. “Young lady, do you want to tell me what's going on.” I didnt. But I needed it. 

Just as Harold pulled me away. I saw a glimpse of a fist fly towards Brian. And there it was. Brian and kevin fist fighting. Clothes being pulled. Punches, kicking. Cursing. AJ didnt want me or Brian's mother in the room. Harold told me to go with AJ and Jackie. She was a mess. Screaming for the two to stop. She was more heartbroken than I was.


	20. Unwilling to change

AJ spent an hour with me. We were missing dinner. There was another knock at the door. This time it was Brian. He didn't seem upset. More so concerned.   
“you want to tell me what's going on??” He knew my history with Kevin. Brian also knew I didn't want to be down there. 

AJ stared at Brian with the saddest look I had ever seen. 

“He attacked her… in the kitchen.” AJ's own voice broke. I felt my stomach in my throat. I didn't want him to tell. I heard Brian inhale a breath. “Elena, why didn't you say anything? You had me down there talking to that son of a bitch for an hour.” Brian was headed for the door with bawled up fists. 

I was too slow. I don't even think it happened that fast. As soon as I was to my feet, Brian and AJ were out the door headed to the dining area. 

I ran as fast as I could. “you piece of shit!” Brian screamed loud. “You come into my house and you touch my girlfriend!? I should beat the fuck out of you now!”

I broke between Brian and Kevin. Brian was shorter than Kevin but taller than me. I had a hard time keeping them from exchanging words. Kevin was very quiet about it. AJ eventually stepped in between the two and managed to get me out the way. 

“I didn't touch that slut! You and I both know these kinds of women aren't capable of love. You learned that the first time Brian Jesus Christ grab your balls and get a hold of them!”

The loudest whistle formed from across the room. It was Brian's dad. 

“ENOUGH!! Sit down. Both of you!”

Brian stood in front of me, while AJ held me close. Kevin on the opposite side. Both boys were fuming. 

Harold came up to both of us. “Young lady, do you want to tell me what's going on.” I didn't. But I needed it. 

Just as Harold pulled me away. I saw a glimpse of a fist fly towards Brian. And there it was. Brian and Kevin fist fighting. Clothes being pulled. Punches, kicking. Cursing. AJ didn’t want me or Brian's mother in the room. Harold told me to go with AJ and Jackie. She was a mess. Screaming for the two to stop. She was more heartbroken than I was. 

As we sat on the curb of the apartment complex. Jackie looked at me. "Do you love my son." There that question was again. 

"I don't know." My voice was quiet. I was really confused. I cared for him. But was I ready to give him my heart? My profession had nothing to do with it. It was my morals. I didn’t want to hurt Brian anymore than I already had. 

"He cares for you. If you want this. You need to be sure. You have no clue what you're getting yourself into fighting with fire. Those two boys are family if you love them both, you will choose." 

I grunted loudly. "BUT I DON’T LOVE KEVIN." I sort of shouted to her. I didn't mean it. 

His mother was very understanding. She hadn’t me 24 hours and yet she didn’t judge me. “You know I am an escort...don't you?” Jackie nodded. “Yes, I do. My son and I share a lot of information with each other. The only reason he told me was so that I knew the real you. Now, this past you have with Kevin. You have to decide if that is what you want.” 

I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t hate Kevin, I just didn’t want to be shared between him and his wife. She didn’t deserve it. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be with Brian. The front door opened and Kevin appeared. He looked at both of us and stayed quiet. I watched him walk to his car and drive off. I peered at the door, waiting for the cue to go back inside. Harold soon appeared outside. “Elena, Brian is asking for you. Jackie, we are going to go out for a bit. Give them time to calm down.” He smiled at me then tended to his wife. 

I stood up and walked inside. The living room was a mess but not as bad as the dining table was appearing. AJ was in the kitchen cleaning up. “J, where is he??” AJ stopped in his tracks. “He is in his bathroom. Listen, Elena, this was not your fault. Brian was defending you. He loves you E, please. Wake the hell up and see what is in front of you.” 

I sighed and made my way to his room. I was dreading to see what his predicament would be like. Brian was changing his clothes. His shirt torn. I didn’t see any blood. I felt the tension in the room. It was for sure because of the fight that had just broken out. I felt it was my fault even if everyone said it wasn’t. 

“Bri?” Brian sat his shirt down and walked up to me. “Are you ok?” I couldn’t speak. I had planned all of what I wanted to say while I was outside talking to his mother but facing him, my words vanished. 

“He will never...ever touch you again. I should have been in there with you. I should have told him to get out, I should have protected you.” His hand graced the side of my cheek. I flinched. That did not stop him. Brian’s hands cupped my face. “I love you.” 

“Brian, I can’t. I can’t put you into any more trouble. Kevin will come back. I can’t have you and AJ fighting for me. I have to take care of this.” 

Brian’s eyes grew wide, he gave me a look as if he didn’t understand. “So what are you saying?”  
I grabbed his hands and removed them from my space. 

“I have to go… I will not be back… I care about you bu-”

“But you don’t love me?” Brian backed up towards the bed.   
“I don’t know how I feel Brian, I just wanted to have fun with you and take it slow, I didn’t know Kevin was going to make this so hard.”   
“Do you love him???” 

“I do-” I stuttered my words. Brian didn’t give me any slack.  
“DO you LOVE him? You tell me right now that you love him after he fucking took advantage of you. You made me feel like a jackass fighting for you when you are still in love with him AND he is MARRIED, Elena! He is married to my ex-wife!! Why can’t you let him go?!”  
I felt the tears in my eyes form. They were soon to fall. Brian was being mean and I just wanted to leave. 

“That’s good, you are upset with me. It is better than you are mad at me, so leaving will be easier.” Brian had picked up a glass on the nightstand. He tossed it against the wall.   
“Easier?! You want me to make it easier on you?! I open my home to you, fall in love with you but you still want to be with my cousin who is married to my ex-wife. You tell me how I am supposed to fucking move on from this shit?! Huh?! You tell me right now how do I move on from this?!”

I had nothing to say. There was nothing else I could say to take back the last few hours. I just left the room with him in it. 

Me leaving would break AJ’s heart. I couldn’t tell him that I was leaving. I didn’t grab any clothes. Just the backpack that I carried around in the beginning. I had no need for it while living with Brian. Now that I was leaving. I would soon pick it up. 

I left him without saying goodbye. I took the bus back to the club. I checked in to the hotel next door. I called all my usual clients and told them that I was back. Kevin was right, this life was something that we could never escape. No matter how much a man loved you. I wanted to believe that Brian’s love would save me from this life. I just couldn’t drag him down anymore.   
As I put on my lace get up. I put my hair up in a bun. I wore my knee high heels. Black eyeliner, dark lipstick. My tattoos colored onto my skin. I stared at myself in the vanity mirror. Disgusted. I had been gone for 6 hours. No phone calls from AJ, nor Brian. It was better this way. I prepared myself to get on stage for the first time in 6 months. 

Slowly moving to the music. Money being thrown. Men making cat calls at me. Demanding that I take off my bra. Take it all off. I kept it all on. It wasn’t the same. I knew I could never get out of this life. This was a choice I made. I needed to stick to it.


End file.
